RANDOM - GamerBroXxSlaya announces new policy of brand agnostic tolerance

You’d better believe it.

By Randy Pitchfork
01/08/23

thatHITBOX can exclusively reveal that after nearly three years of disparaging technical analysis, first party comparisons, and tweets about which CEO has the bigger peen, GamerBroXxSlaya has decided to stop all console war discourse and preach a new “if you like it, then good for you” approach to online interactions. Although their identity remains shrouded in irrelevant mystery, he/she/they/lizard has chosen to let little plastic boxes simply exist and instead shower everyone with emotionless facts.

It’s interesting to note some of GamerBroXxSlaya’s recent talking points; such classics like “Helldivers 2 looks mid tier”, “Series S is holding back innovation”, and “Nintendo don’t understand how online works” are all bangers, supposedly. Of course, only one of those is actually true, and we all know which one it is. Sorry Reggie!

In any case, this is a huge victory for normal people who like some videogames but don’t like other videogames. Please be excited for further updates, especially when GamerBroXxSlaya notices engagement and metrics on their social accounts taking a nose dive. It’ll be straight back to debating the merits of Phil and Jim’s respective wangers in no time at all.