RANDOM - thatHITBOX and Starfield
Why our review will be based on the public retail version like normal people.
By Randy Pitchfork
30/08/23
In a not so surprising turns of events, and in the interest of full disclosure, thatHITBOX must, can, and will exclusively reveal that an e-mail we never sent, to a PR contact we don’t have, didn’t respond in time for the upcoming Starfield review embargo. I know, woe is us. We, therefore, didn’t get a copy of Starfield for free ahead of its upcoming console war inflaming launch, and we’ll now have to wade through the embers of internet “commentary” and formulate our opinions based on GASP a retail copy.
Speaking from his hovel, thatHITBOX Editor in Chief Tits Mgee grumbled: “It doesn’t make any sense. We got to play Doom Eternal at a press event one time, and yet here we are. I mean, Digital Foundrajon got a copy, but that was only to analyse the menu artwork. It’s a travesty for the industry, and quite frankly, I am aghast with self-entitled rage”.
Moving forward, Mr. Mgee stated that he plans to start a support group for other websites affected by Bethesda’s disgraceful decision to give review copies of their intellectual property to the places of their choosing. “Solidarity and sharing is how we can get through this”, he whined, weeping into his GameCube.
For more information, please send an e-mail to reviewcodeburns@wahwah.net.
TARPS?
At the bottom of some of our articles, you’ll see a series of absurd looking images (with equally stupid, in joke laden names). These are the TARP badges, which represent our ‘Totally Accurate Rating Platform’. They allow us to identify specific things, recognise positive or negative aspects of a games design, and generally indulge our consistent silliness with some visual tomfoolery.
